Have you ever heard someone say, “there are no do-overs in life”? I have. And I think for some things it’s true. But I think for so much that we do or try, it’s important to remember there are do-overs in life. We can reset and give things another try when they don’t go the way we wanted the first time through. But even at 35, this is a lesson that I’m still learning. 

If we’re going to be friends, there are two things that you need to know about me (ok in all seriousness, there are WAY more than two things to know, but these two things have been on my mind lately).

1. I’m a perfectionist. I’d love to say I’m a recovering perfectionist or that I conquered it. But the truth is, it’s still a daily battle. I often fall in the camp of avoiding doing the thing because the thing might not be perfect.
2. I love to cook and bake. It’s one of my favorite things. Whether it’s cookies or dessert for a family dinner, a fancy anniversary dinner made with my husband, or late-night cupcakes because I’m feeling sad, being in the kitchen has a way of restoring order and making me feel better.

At the outset, these two things may seem to go together. Wanting things to be perfect can lead to a higher level of precision which could be handy when cooking or baking. But the truth is, at least for a weekend baker like me, there is a large margin for error. Rarely do things turn out perfectly. Sometimes – they don’t turn out at all. And despite this, I keep coming back to cooking and baking. And I’ve had some spectacular failures.

My husband and I still talk about the pork fried rice we tried to make when we lived in Michigan. It was inedible. Wrong spices, freezer burned meat, and who knows what else led to a disaster in the kitchen that resulted in take-out. We also laugh about the cake we tried to make for my birthday last year that was still runny on the inside after baking for over an hour. 

And failures like this aren’t isolated incidents. They happen regularly. 

Just a few weeks ago we got a new mini shortcake pan. And I decided we just HAD to make mini strawberry shortcakes. We filled each little cake spot up to what seemed like a normal level. Oh boy we were wrong! The cakes all rose and grew into one giant cake across the top. Then they stuck to the pan.

I texted a friend while this was happening and told her “We just failed completely and spectacularly.”  She wrote back “At least there is nowhere to go but up.”  

My husband and I laughed, decided we needed a do-over, and started again, but this time we were smarter. And the second batch was great.

For someone who is a perfectionist to her core, I’m learning some valuable lessons from being in the kitchen these days. First, it’s important to take time to do the things that bring you joy, even if you’re not the best at them. Second, my spectacular failures really are a chance to grow. I get to decide if I want to try again and how I adjust to find better success. It really brings to life the quote by Thomas Edison:

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

Thomas Edison

So, what does this have to do with money? I think it often feels easier to give up on figuring out our money. To say, “I’ll do it when I make more” or “I’ll do it next month when I get paid” and so on. The truth is, often we put it off because we are scared of what we will learn and that we won’t get it right…or even that we don’t know where to start. We let this fear control us and stop us from doing the thing we need to do that we know will help us out.

We also give up if the first thing we try doesn’t work or we stumble.

The good news is, like baking, if you mess up with money, you can always try again. There are do-overs in life!

Your budget doesn’t have to be perfect to get you moving in the right direction. But you have to push past the fear and uncertainty to make progress. Push past your need to be perfect and try something. Track your expenses on paper. That doesn’t work, what about using an app? A spreadsheet? The first thing you try doesn’t have to be the only way you ever do. 

What you need to do is find a step you can take to get on track. And start. Don’t worry about whether it’s the perfect thing or not. Try, knowing that you can always make corrections as you go. If you aren’t sure where to start, don’t worry, I have your back. 

Start by making two lists. 

On the first list, write down every account that you have. Don’t forget to include your bank accounts, credit cards, savings accounts, investments, retirement accounts, and any other places you hold money. This will help you get a good view of where your money is housed. 

For the second list, write down all your monthly bills that you must pay each month. Write down the bill, the date it’s due, and how much you pay. This will help you get a sense for where your money is going.

With this information you have the start of a budget and a better feel for where your money is. From here, you can decide where you want to go next and how to move forward.